BFF. It’s a word.Hell it’s not even a word, it’s 3 letters that we throw around like our business cards, slutting our bff-ery all over town to whomever will have us. Remember when we were little girls, and we had one best friend? The girl we did everything with, the girl we purposely picked the same outfit to wear to school with, the one who knew your first cigarette was really at 12, not 14, and the one who protected you when you misjudged that guy that like, totally was different then the rest… really, he is. She’s your armor, your shield, your spokesperson, your Saturday night date when you just need one, and the only one who will go see that stupid movie with you, when everyone else refuses. Ah, yes, best friends.
And now, being best friends isn’t enough anymore, like when we were kids. You have to be best friends… FOREVER. For something that holds such a long, unbreakable connection, the word is taken pretty lightly. I have always been the type who would prefer to have 5 close friends, then 50 acquaintances, and now at 30, nothing has changed.
So many today are obsessed with numbers. On Facebook, it’s all about how many “friends” you have. Personally, I think the less friends you have on Facebook, the more you have in real life. I think at one time or another, I have been introduced to the same person’s “best friend” over 20 different times. Did you ever get a text from a friend, thinking it was really special only to realize it was sent to 17 of that person’s “best friends”. On this island, girls whore our their friendship more then they do their bodies, and yes girls, much like frat boys on a Saturday night in Murray Hill, we don’t always tend to be so selective on who we give that illustrious title.
BFF’s come in all shapes and sizes. The life long ones; the women you might not speak to every day, but who knew you when you were nothing. Or at least, knew you when you were shorter. The BFF you have spoken to every night on the phone since you were 10, and still do.Tthat rare friendship that will probably climax with a double wedding and pregnancy. There are the new Bff’s; the one’s you meet later in life, who become your rocks. They might not have known you when you had braces and your first make-out session, but they’re now the only ones who know that you really did have a one night stand once, even though you tell the rest of the world you never have. You know who you are. And, there are also the BFA’s. The best friend by Association. This is a tricky one, because it’s hard to master, but sometimes you meet one friend through another, and the bond is so tight that something that started out an innocent association parlays into something stronger.
We women are very protective and guarding of our friendships, so a chip in the paint can sometimes cause the entire wall to crack. No one ever likes to lose a BFF, and this dangerous BFA can result in several outcomes, depending on the person. I’d like to think one day we can all get along, sharing, venting, and protecting each other on this island of survival. But unfortunately, we haven’t all mastered this art form yet, so until then, people will continue to get eliminated in the final round.
Lately, it seems like my closest friends are the ones I’ve only had a few short years, or even short months. One so close that somehow a short time after meeting, our names dropped, and we became Pea, and Pea. (As in two peas in a pod.) Sufficed to say this metaphor has proved to have staying power, and endless material for jokes. And much like a couple, we affectionately refer to one another as such. I’m not sure she even remembers my name. But I am the umbrella holder to her P Diddy, the Deniro to her Pacino, and the Zoe to her Rachel. She gives me blowouts, and I give her lightly worn Chanel flats. A friendship for the ages.
These days I’m all about peace and happy places. And whomever is with me, can ride that BFF train right with me right off into the sunset. But I’m sure there will be lots of stops along the way…
Birds of a feather flock together- Me and My pea with matching feather earrings….
My favorite picture